The Real Deal Family and Relationship Guide

The Way to Happiness (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) Happiness is not a given in this lifetime. It is something that has to be sought after, and it is often the ways we seek our happiness that determine how long and how successful our end results will be. People with mood disorders, depression and other personality issues become dependent on many external contributions to elevate their mood and happiness. When pills aren't getting you where you want to be.. This truth is, we all build up a tolerance to pills in some way or another. So what do we do then? Take stock in all the external factors that have been in your life of late. Have they been stressful, unsure, and negative? These things will come and go in life so pills will only carry you so far.  It is a good idea to talk your family doctor to rule out other contributing problems that may be affecting your mood, including having a thorough blood work up done to rule out low levels of iron, B12 etc. Sometimes there is an

Dawn Gagnon Photography ©2023 Release is a skill many fisherman develop over a lifetime of fishing. When they are not depending on the fish to provide food, but only the momentary pleasure of their company, they learn to release, so that the fish can return to their life, and the fisherman can continue doing what he loves. We as humans have to learn the art of release in other areas of our lives as well. We are called upon many times to release. Release guilt, release loved ones, release anger, release resentment, release the past... When we learn the fine art of releasing, we can then move on to embrace the truth, embrace our loved ones, embrace our feelings, embrace others feelings, embrace the future. The personality type that is most likely to resist learning how to release is one with low self esteem, dependent, seeking self worth through others, fault finding, judgmental, passive aggressive, smothering and likely to be disappointed a lot in other people around them.

Pain (Photo credit: Michelle Brea ) You know, I can't think of anything more damaging than when we let past pain, past bad memories, and past relationships invade our present. What does this truly mean in the deepest sense? You're making a choice to let something bad and negative have a place in your life long after the fact. Whats the benefit to this? Well, maybe you're gaining something from keeping these painful life events in your present. Maybe you're securing long term sympathy, or using your past as a way to manipulate others that care for you to make your life now better? There's many reasons behind it, the real challenge is when you take an honest look at why you're continuing to let past pain invade your life. You wouldn't let past diseases come back if you could stop them would you? Letting go What is the fear in letting go of bad things? What's to be gained from holding on? Consider this... Most people have painful pasts. Most people h

Image via Wikipedia We all know the New Year is right around the corner and many of us will make resolutions that we know good and well we can't keep. The key to making resolutions successful in the New Year are to make reasonable goals for yourself. Here are a few resolution suggestions that may be worthwhile. Commit to improved health- Lets face it, another year comes and this means you're going to be a year older at some point in the new year. Health has a way of turning on a dime and making a commitment to improve your health is always a good idea. Start off small, gain control and expand as you go. Whether it is changing up your diet, or exercising more, or getting a check up with your doctor, do it. Don't think big goals that are unrealistic, think small goals that can be achieved. Better to have small success, than big failure. Let go of the past- If you truly want to be a happier person, part of your endeavor for the new year may be to let go of thi

Image by thorinside via Flick Manipulating people with guilt, shame or emotionally is a surefire way to build an explosive reaction in the future. There are many forms of manipulation and they all have the ability to backfire in ways that can destroy a relationship permanently. In some cases, a manipulator even uses their own misfortune as a way to conjure up pity and help from someone, usually a spouse, friend or family member. If you live in South Carolina and you find you are manipulative, or others have accused you of this, you may want to seek some help to get at the root of your problem, see: Psychiatrist Today in SC for help. Are you the type that keeps throwing up some indiscretion, or wrong from the past in your partner, friend, or family members face? Well I hate to break it to you, but you suck. If you claimed to have forgiven them for whatever it is you are throwing in their face, then drop it. If you haven't then you have no business being around them. It's tha

Image via Wikipedia There are events in life that can traumatize a person to a degree that they become ill from the event. Experiencing multiple traumatic events over a series of days, weeks, months and years can lead to a disorder called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. How each person copes with trauma may vary greatly. Symptoms of PTSD are as follows : Flashbacks, where the event seems to be happening again and again Reliving the memory or event to the point it interferes with day to day life Distressing memories of the event Repeated dreams of the event Having a physical reaction to situations that remind you of the traumatic event Emotional "numbing," often used as a defense mechanism to protect oneself Feelings of detachment Inability to remember important aspects of the trauma or blocking out Lack of interest in normal activities Moods that are flat and expressionless Avoiding places, people, or objects that remind you of the trauma. S

Image via Wikipedia Personality disorders are largely responsible for most of the relationship problems in families. Most all personality disorders stem from a long lineage of childhood abuse and/or neglect. Understanding some of the signs that are classic symptoms of personality disorders can be a way for loved ones to isolate the problems, and possibly seek treatment for them.  One such personality disorder is NPD, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  This list gives a run down of some of the traits associated with this specific disorder: A tendency to disregard or downplay other peoples trauma or feelings. Constantly shifting focus or conversation back on their personal experiences instead. A failure to validate other peoples feelings. A tendency to smother those around them, not because they “love” them so much, but because they need the reassurance for themselves. Addicted to the “feeling” of being loved, and constantly forcing situations and events that are nega

Image via Wikipedia Whether it is with your children, spouse or friends there are many things you can do as an individual to ruin a good thing like a lasting loving and healthy relationship with the people around you. We are all guilty of the things on the list from time to time, but too much a bad thing is just that..too much. 1. Using the “you owe me” line- Parents if you are using this with your children stop. There are only a few times a child owes their parents anything and they are the following: If you supported them financially or provided food, transportation and shelter beyond the age of 18 then yes, you deserve a big thank you and some credit for any success that came of your help. However, if you kid left home when they became of legal age, managed to take care of themselves and have asked very little of you, congratulations, you did what you were supposed to do and raised a responsible adult. Do they "owe" you for that? No, that was your job, and we

The "Choking game", a fatal high Image via Wikipedia Nothing could have been more terrifying for parents Jill and Paul Fung of Lexington,SC than to hear the news that their 11 year old son was dead.  What makes it more disturbing is how their son Spencer Fung died. The latest rage on Youtube and elsewhere for those seeking a quick "high" drug free is called the "choking game".  His death was less than 3 months ago and his story needs to be told to the public. For more on his story see:  Parents have a warning after son dies playing the "choking game"   The game involves various forms of asphyxiation whereas the participant chokes themselves just short of passing out. The effect of cutting off blood flow to the brain results in a temporary "high". What is not temporary however, is when it results in death. A disturbing fact that needs to change as there are no public health agencies tracking the number of deaths

America is sadly home to more overweight children than any country on earth. We are raising them to live in a fast food society and provide them with tons of sedentary activities through video games. However, if we ourselves make the effort to change our bad habits, our children will be given the gift that keeps on giving, good health . Read more Ways to raise healthier children . Related articles Marketing magic for a healthier diet: Do try this at home! (self.com) Halloween Now Means Healthier Teeth and Healthier Kids (eon.businesswire.com) Decorating a nursery (examiner.com) Decorating for the potential buyer of your home (examiner.com) Decorating your home for Halloween (examiner.com)

If you were born and raised in the south, then you have no doubt seen the rest of the world make sport of your roots. According to much you read and hear on television, southerners are all a bunch of ignorant, redneck , in-breds, spewing forth hate and chewing tobacco from every orifice. To Read more click here : Southern pride, overcoming the stigmas     Related articles by Zemanta How to decorate a small space (examiner.com) Project: Sun room addition (examiner.com) Paranormal Experiences (thatparanormalblog.blogspot.com) Decorating a nursery (examiner.com) *******Why some orbs are NOT dust (thatparanormalblog.blogspot.com)

Image via Wikipedia Corey Haim , child star of the Lost Boys etc, was found dead in his apartment from an apparent drug overdose at the age of 38. How do we fight this battle in our own families to avoid this tragic end? Sadly, drug use enters into a family much like a thief in the night. By the time you realize it, it is usually well in force. Family members find themselves in unfamiliar territory as they journey through this devastating attack on their loved ones. Fighting a drug problem, whether your own or a family members takes courage and determination. Summoning support for a wide variety of resources is the only way to combat it head on.  Read more here: Helping an addicted loved one If you or a family member is suffering from addiction, seek information, support and help from :  The Addicted Family . Related articles D ysfunctional families and addiction Amy Winehouse death a sobering reminder Addiction to Ambien Another South Carolina baby testing posit

Image via Wikipedia Grief is a painful life changing process, support is needed through out the process.. With all the tragedies happening in the world today, people are experiencing great losses world wide. The pain of losing a loved one is overwhelming. It is an assault to ones senses and takes time and support to get through. Witnessing a family member or friend going through this difficult time is extremely hard. Offering supportive assistance and helping out even with menial tasks can be a great source of comfort, and a warm gesture of love. Offer to help- Loved ones going through the grieving process are oblivious to little details, and are wrought with pain. As a supportive friend or family member, offering to help with any chores, duties, tying up loose ends are invaluable. No offer is too little or too small. Small things are what get overlooked and this is where you can be the most help in what feels like such a helpless position to be in. Be The eyes

Image via Wikipedia There are a lot of elderly citizens living a lonely life in the US today. Many don't come into contact with other people for days and weeks at a time. We need to honor our elderly and help whenever we can. Offer transportation- Elderly people live on fixed incomes, getting a ride to the grocery store or doctors office is a huge help to them. Stop by and visit every so often and ask them if they need anything. Elderly people get sick and lonely often. Just knowing that someone cares will brighten their day. Pets are good for the health. Many elderly love and miss their own animals and love to give affection to cats, kittens, puppies and gentle animals. Look into starting a program if possible by working with local elderly housing to have a pet visiting day in your area. Cook them a meal on occasion , most older folks don't eat a balanced diet. They have limited funds and can't always buy all that is needed for a w

Image via Wikipedia Is there anything worse than a spoiled child ? Yes, a spoiled adult child, the end result. Lets face it, we all have the yearning to always give our children everything they need and want, but to do so well beyond the childhood years is ridiculous. Being a constant "go to" for all your child's problems turns you into a crutch, they never learn to walk with out. Come up with a plan - Start teaching your children early on what you expect out of them. By the time your child is out of high school, they should have a plan in mind for life. Encourage them to discuss their plans with you. Offer suggestions, such as college, trade school , or they are going to have a full time job . If they seek higher education , via college or trade school and drop out before completing, teach them the err of their ways by insisting they pay back any money you spent to put them there. Make sure they understand what you expect by the time they reach adulthood.