"Trust me..."
Do you ever run across people that say the word "trust me" a lot and wonder why they feel so compelled to convince you of something? Many times in life you may run across or know someone that possibly tries a little too hard to convince you they are telling the truth..and it seems in the midst of all of their words you'll hear a phrase like "trust me."
"Less than..."
Just like the phrase "the lady doth protest too much" the phrase "trust me" can send up a red flag when over used. With the first phrase, this suggests the lady denies so vehemently that it suggests she is lying.. and the phrase "trust me" suggests you not doubt or question so that I may fool you. This may not always be the case some people sputter out phrases out of habit, but for those others, these words and these two phrases, are closely related. One of the most important steps we can make in improving ourselves internally is when we open a few dark closets in our minds and hearts and air them out..We need not air them out to the world, but we do have to occasionally make ourselves mindful of some of the things we have done that weren't really honest. That means taking the time to really examine yourself..it also means making a commitment to be an honest person. I know we'd all like to think we are honest people, but some of us know we've created lies in our lives, presented a false picture of who we are. We've traded in the truth for something more acceptable..this screams low self esteem..somewhere along the line, possibly early in life, you were made to feel "less than." Less than perfect, less than others, less than you should be, less than "normal."
"Living the lie..."
When we recreate the truth, and fabricate deceptive stories to try and convince the world we are acceptable and anything but "less than" we can get caught up in our own delusion. We become entwined with our deception. Over time we start to forget the truth, and believe our own lies.. Better to face that which we don't like about ourselves head on and work to improve it than to live in a false world where we only perpetuate our feelings of "less than."
The "whys behind the lies"
Once we begin to take an honest look at that part of ourselves we don't like the part that we hide, and cover up with deceptions to the outside world, and we start to piece together the "whys behind the lies" we can usually move forward and we can grow on many levels. Most people that have esteem issues have a hard road ahead because for years it may not be apparent where the issue comes from. Sometimes finding the answer is a revelation, as we tend to bury painful moments that have a hand in shaping who we are and how we see ourselves..Sometimes it starts far ahead of where we think it comes from..and there are many of us who bury these memories because we're guilt ridden from the thought itself...We may not even uncover all of the reasons our esteem has been crushed, but if we managed to find a few reasons, we can still make progress and move on.
No easy fixes
Looking deep inside ourselves, finding root causes, admitting how we've responded and dealt with these things and that they are negative take time and patience. Making a commitment to change is also a day to day thing.
Here's an approach: acknowledge, identify, commit, forgive. To bridge the gap between living a lie and living the truth means to first :
Acknowledge we've been doing it.
Example: I know I haven't been a very honest person, I've deceived many including myself, and it is wrong.
Identify where it comes from
Example: I have a need to lie and hide because all my life I was made to feel worthless. My first memory of feeling worthless was....
Commit to change and endeavor to be a better, more honest person every day
Example: Today I will walk in the truth and I will no longer perpetuate any false stories, or untruths told in the past, today I begin to accept me and love the real me..
Forgive yourself and others
Example: I now understand why I have been the way I have been, I know where it comes from, and I know that those that contributed to my low self esteem no longer have power over me, and I forgive them because I want to also be forgiven for what I have done.
These things you can do and work on inwardly, and in time you will be guided in the right direction and find new ways to build your self esteem. You deserve to be happy and feel proud of who you are and by working on becoming a better person, you will have good reason to. There are a lot of inspirational books and literature out there that can help you work on your personal goals and overcome the negative things in your life to help you..No matter what literature you feel drawn to, it all begins with taking that first look inward, and seeing the truth inside..and don't worry we all have varying degrees of dishonesty, and issues that keep us from wanting to look too deep, but once we start, we get a little lighter, and we can start loving ourselves in a way that heals us from the inside out..
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