Skip to main content

Talking and connecting with your teen


Parenting is one of the single most rewarding, yet difficult jobs there are. When they are young, you spend your time teaching, and keeping them safe. As they grow and need you less, you find yourself somehow feeling a disconnect. Teen years are a painful mixture of emotions, hormones, and pressure. Bridging the gap between them and yourself is a challenge, but with determination and patience it can be done.
Reconnect with your inner teen- Think back to when you were a teenager. Remember how confusing, painful and fun it all was? Take a look through your high school yearbook. Remember the struggles, the tears and the laughter? Things may be a little different now with your kids, but those emotions are the same and we all had them. Tell your teen about your times, so they can relate to the person you was, when you were in their shoes.

Find a quiet place- Offer to take your teen out to eat. Order take out fare and go to a local park and make sure you turn off the cell phones. Ask them how things are at school. How are their friends? They may be slow to open up but eventually they come around. Start the conversation out with easy subjects like music, shopping, etc.
Take off your parent "hat"-  Sometimes, we get so caught up in what a "parent" should say, or do, we forget the person we are inside. Sometimes our teens need to see that we are just moving through life, day by day, just as they are. Talk to your teen on an adult level, get their feedback on adult things, politics, world events, things going on in the family. Share your thoughts with them. Your fears, worries, things you love. Let your teen see you as a person, not just an authority figure. They will be able to connect to you much better.
Share a secret or two- Sometimes the best way to gain your teens trust is by showing you trust them. Admit a few faults you have and ways you have made bad decisions. They will feel more at ease about opening up to you about things if they know you aren't so perfect either.
Positive input from you- Tell your teen a few really important things you admire in them. Acknowledge their skills or personality traits that are noteworthy. Try not to steal away from the compliments by saying they "got their good looks from you" or they got their talent from "dad". Let them own their good qualities. It doesn't matter who they got it from, they have it, and they need to know you admire it.
Use television as a tool-Take time to watch shows your teen likes. Ask them their thoughts on the show, or the situation. If they are watching mtv, find out why they love what they love. Don't be afraid to admit you like some of their music and television shows. I'm not saying take over their world, but just get in it every so often. Be that presence in their life. Share you opinions, your mind and your advice even if they don't think they want it. Life is a very uncertain thing, you may be gone tomorrow, and your words, may be the only reference your child has one day.
Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ways to avoid spoiling your kids

Image via Wikipedia Is there anything worse than a spoiled child ? Yes, a spoiled adult child, the end result. Lets face it, we all have the yearning to always give our children everything they need and want, but to do so well beyond the childhood years is ridiculous. Being a constant "go to" for all your child's problems turns you into a crutch, they never learn to walk with out. Come up with a plan - Start teaching your children early on what you expect out of them. By the time your child is out of high school, they should have a plan in mind for life. Encourage them to discuss their plans with you. Offer suggestions, such as college, trade school , or they are going to have a full time job . If they seek higher education , via college or trade school and drop out before completing, teach them the err of their ways by insisting they pay back any money you spent to put them there. Make sure they understand what you expect by the time they reach adulthood....
Post a Comment
Read more

Discipline for your Children

Dawn Gagnon Photography ©2023  If you come from a certain time period, you may well remember what "discipline" meant in your family. It typically meant corporal punishment which could involve the hand, a belt, or a switch from a tree outside. Parents from that time operated on the belief that you mustn't spoil the child by sparing the rod. While considered abuse by today's standards, it was a different time, and no one truly knows for sure whether those tactics were effective in a positive way or not. It really depends on who you ask.  We can agree that the old way of discipline may be an extreme measure, and it was, however has the pendulum swung too far in the other direction? Children today see very little consequence for their actions, and often come from single parent homes. There are a lot of studies showing the damning long term effects of single parent homes. That is not to disparage single parent homes, as there are exceptions and plenty that managed successf...
Post a Comment
Read more