Image via WikipediaWhat happens to our bundles of joy? In the beginning, these little delights gave our lives meaning, then suddenly in the blink of an eye they change. Mom and dad become old and geeky and oblivious to everything relevant in a teens eyes. How did that happen? Moreover, when did we, become our parents? Teenagers are a strange brood. They vacillate between happy and joyful and moody and obstinate. I do believe, in my experience as a parent for 23 plus years, and I'm not done yet...that the minute puberty sets in..the worm turns for our little former bundles of joy.
My kids use odd terms that cover a wide variety of emotional expression. For instance, if I tell DJ, "my 12 year old version of Little Man Tate" to take out the garbage, I hear "taking out the garbage is gay". Now, because I am no perfect, politically correct parent, I usually retort by saying "Well then I picked the right person for the job then". Yes, I know..I'm horrible. I just don't adjust well to new age back talk. If a smart answer deserves it, a smart retort it shall get. My bigger question is, when did everything become gay? I can say, "DJ, how do you like these boots?" and I will get the catch all phrase again, "mom those are soooo gay", again, I say something like "well then you must want a pair"..believe it or not he will laugh at this, and say "mom you are so lame"...to which I say, "well, at least I'm not gay"...
If I had said such to my own parents, I would have been sent to the ground with a resounding thud from a swift backhand across the mug. Today, that makes for a solid case of child abuse. So what does a parent do with these little know it all, have an answer for everything, that think you are lame and gay?
I confess, I am not a big promoter of spanking or hitting..however, I am big on threats. I do on occasion threaten. I usually put forth my best acting on these occasions, "DJ, how would you like to end up on the tip of my boot and flying through the air like you're in the circus boy?" Unfortunately, my attempts at being a threatening and scary figure to this kid fall short as he laughs his head off.
Now lets talk about those little princesses we give birth to. O M GEEEEEE....I am convinced our teen daughters are prime examples of split or multiple personality syndrome. My true hope is, with this knowledge, that it isn't me and my unorthodox ed parenting methods that caused these disassociation's. Was it the first time I laughed at their hair style that prompted them to disassociate into another personality? OMGeeee..or was it that time I snickered when I saw her first attempt at applying make up that did it? I don't know what caused my darling little princess to turn into Sybil, but I do know she definitely isn't the same little pink princess I brought home from the hospital.
Now I get the famous mumbled retorts when I say the wrong thing, and the ever so appreciated "eye roll". I never know what will set her off, but I do know I will. It will come like a tornado, without warning. Oh sure you may sense something is amiss...but you have no idea of the damage until after the fact. I never know what type of "Chelsea" I am going to get each day. In the morning before school we are all a little grumpy so that is no indication. Alas though, I look for signs as she exits the bus in the afternoon..is she going to wave sweetly at me? Or will I get the "death stare". I never know in advance. So what do we do? Do I acknowledge it? Do I ignore it and see if she comes to me with any problem that may have ticked her off? Sometimes all of the above. In some cases, a teen will blow something out of proportion just because they some how sense that is expected of them. I usually am no big fan of endorsing a negative attitude, and if I sense this is the way things are headed I usually try to shift the energy by talking about something positive. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't. Some times, you just have to leave them alone. Let them have their down time, let them have their moment, and then get on with the business of living. They know you are there if they need you, at least, they should. If they don't you can always tell them on one of those days when they are in a funk. There will be many, just go with it. Its all apart of this lovely thing we call our childhood. I just lie back and wait, and know in my heart that one day, they will blame me for everything, and then it will dawn on them, that I wasn't that bad. That comes when they have their own little brood...it allllll comes full circle moms, dads..just be patient.
Comments
Post a Comment