- A tendency to disregard or downplay other peoples trauma or feelings. Constantly shifting focus or conversation back on their personal experiences instead. A failure to validate other peoples feelings.
- A tendency to smother those around them, not because they “love” them so much, but because they need the reassurance for themselves. Addicted to the “feeling” of being loved, and constantly forcing situations and events that are negative to extract love and attention from those around them. Willing to use manipulative tactics to achieve this.
- A tendency to be overly critical of others. Comes across as snobbish, judgmental and cold. Constantly drawing comparisons to elevate their own need to believe they are superior.
- A tendency to brag or over inflate the intelligence, success, etc of their family members not out of sincere pride but to attract admiration and respect for themselves. This is nothing more than an attempt to conceal their true feelings of personal failure. “I'm great by association..if nothing else.”
- A tendency to be verbally, mentally, emotionally abusive in order to gain or extract some advantage in a situation for themselves, yet cry foul if anyone resorts to the same tactics in response.
- A tendency to downplay the efforts of others, while over valuing their efforts. Keeping tabs on what they do for others versus what others do for them. Always believing they have gotten the worst end of the deal and deserve more.
- A tendency to believe they are or have been a better person that what they truly are. Because they never recognize or own up to their wrong doings or short comings, there is a tendency to define themselves as a great, warm, generous, loving person. This is an ideal in their mind that they created. By labeling oneself by this list of ideal human traits, they hope to actually influence what others think of them. It is only an ideal, an illusion to cover up the real way this person defines themselves. Like an alter ego, or secondary personality that is perfect in every way, so that others can find no fault in them. There is a great deal of effort put into hiding from ones true self, and a great deal of effort in trying to disguise this true self from others.
NPD is but one of many recognized personality disorders.
Image via Wikipedia Is there anything worse than a spoiled child ? Yes, a spoiled adult child, the end result. Lets face it, we all have the yearning to always give our children everything they need and want, but to do so well beyond the childhood years is ridiculous. Being a constant "go to" for all your child's problems turns you into a crutch, they never learn to walk with out. Come up with a plan - Start teaching your children early on what you expect out of them. By the time your child is out of high school, they should have a plan in mind for life. Encourage them to discuss their plans with you. Offer suggestions, such as college, trade school , or they are going to have a full time job . If they seek higher education , via college or trade school and drop out before completing, teach them the err of their ways by insisting they pay back any money you spent to put them there. Make sure they understand what you expect by the time they reach adulthood....
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